What the hell it went from bad to worse....

Well, I guess for myself, things went from bad to worse now, but who am I to say anything these days??? Well, I will not even think that the Days events have been even enough to deal with that I know already, but I guess that i am so numb inside to a point to where I will not discuss this with anyone not even my family. Well, I guess, not even them also I wont even discuss anything that I am dealing with at this time, Geesh my own mom, I swear sometimes,
(thinking with a sigh heavily indeed with anger to myself) I am not even going to discuss it in general, because I will deal with handling things myself, things that I felt, that I need to keep within me as I slowly die within my own heart, my feelings will never matter anymore, this is how I have always felt, for 13 years since my 2 wonderful boys were taken away from me, (my ex-husband will pay for what he has done to them forever indeed) even if I feel if justice is never done for my kids behalf, I will make it happen before the end of my own life as well, this I promise to myself, and to my kids, nothing more and nothing less indeed. If I was to pass away it would be when I am finished on what I have set out to do in my kids's life as much as mine on what i need to do, when I am done with all that I have set out to do, then I will wish for my death to myself indeed, even as I sleep peacefully as I slip through my spirit, but nonetheless, things will be better, well I guess my dad even chimed in to even think that he cared about my wealfare (as if I really believed him I dont think so not in the slightest....as I sigh so angrily with my thoughts deeply Geesh! even in fustration at both of them) well, as I said it before, I will say this again never trust my parents for my problems or my thoughts indeed ever as I feel this way, and as a matter of fact I will promise myself this that I will never trust anyone with things that I am dealing with in the matters of my dark side indeed to myself, i am keeping this secret within my own life, but I guess now I should be going to sleep, I might just sleep my life away sometime when I am close to my end indeed, well it is off to things with what I must do now, and until next time (if there is any way if I will allow a next time). so much to do, and so little time indeed (as I sigh deeply in numbness and with a dead heart within myself).
Caio.